Predictable Tactics
The enemy uses predictable tactics against most people who have been wounded by the unfaithfulness of a husband or wife.
If-Onlys
Unwelcome thoughts scream for attention inside a betrayed spouse's head. She wonders what she could have done to prevent her partner's infidelity. The "if onlys" camp on her front lawn and ring her doorbell constantly. "If only I was younger and prettier... if only I was a more interesting person...if only I weighed 10 pounds less...if only I was stronger..." These if-onlys are lies, a scheme of the evil one.
Last week I wrote that I had to learn to see my own sinfulness from God's perspective. I was not talking about opening the door to these insidious if-onlys. Saying that I had to admit to being a sinner in need of grace, may sound like I blame myself for the adultery that eventually ended our marriage. That is not my intention.
A Second Favorite Tactic
A second favorite tactic of the evil one is to entice a person to see herself as a victim. Without intervention, victims become entrenched in their own helplessness, imprisoned by bitterness at the person who wounded them. Being willing to see herself as a co-recipient of God's grace, is a necessary step toward freedom from the chains of bitterness.
For me, seeing my own sinfulness, even though I have always excelled at being a good girl, was an important step toward freedom.
Admitting that I am a sinful person did not relieve my ex-husband of responsibility. It did not mean that his choices were my fault. Instead, confessing my own need for forgiveness freed me from one of the traps set for me.
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