Tales of the Restoration: The Hidden Reality

Nehemiah 2:8

The cacophony chatters, rings, confuses,
What Good comes of taking all these bruises?
Grasping Hand-holds in the hardened cliff
Slipping stones Of sadness, oh faithless heart, what if?
Reality deceiving, My senses false, but
Gaze at unseen things, God sings silent melodies
Texture of the immaterial; Is that the scent of You?
What whisper hidden, rode Upon the wind?
                                          Touch Me!

The Crazy Quilt of Life

Did you ever think, child...how much piecin' a quilt's like livin' a life?...You see, you start out with jest so much caliker; you don't go to the store and pick it out and buy it, but the neighbors will give you a piece here and a piece there, and you'll have a piece left every time you cut out a dress, and you take jest what happens to come. And that's like predestination. But when it comes to the cuttin' out, why you're free to choose your own pattern. You can give the same kind o' pieces to two persons, and one'll make a "nine-patch" and one'll make a "wild-goose chase," and there'll be two quilts made out o' the same kind o' pieces, and jest as different as they can be. And that is jest the way with livin'. The Lord sends us the pieces, but we can cut 'em out and put 'em together pretty much to suit ourselves, and there's a heap more in the cuttin' out and the sewin' than there is in the caliker. -Eliza Calvert Hall, Aunt Jane of Kentucky 

A quilter making a crazy quilt gathers scraps of fabric of various colors and textures; dark, medium and light colored fabrics in pleasing proportions. The scraps are stitched together in a way that seems random, but isn't. The pieced quilt is embroidered with fancy stitches using scraps of different threads and ribbons. In the hands of a skillful quilter, the finished piece is an astonishingly beautiful work of art.

I am so thankful for the various life-fabrics God has given me. The dark shades, added during the difficult times, are essential to the overall design. My life-quilt wouldn't be as rich without them.  God gives me the pieces, but I choose how to cut and embroider each piece. I think his big hand is cupped over my small one, helping guide the needle and thread, but I feel like I am stitching it together myself.

The quilt of my life is not a nine-patch with straight lines and square corners. My life is a crazy quilt. Crazy and beautiful.




 

Kindling Torches vs. Holding Hands

Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. Isaiah 50:10

As I write these words I can still hear the voice of my mentor years ago. She patiently listened to me complain for hours about the fact that I had no idea what to do about my messy life.

"That is so good!" She said, her eyes shining with happiness. "You are right where God wants you."

I was, and often still am, the person who walks in darkness and has no light. Anger, disrespect, or conflict erupts between me and my stepkids and I have no idea what to do.

The wise counsel in Isaiah 50:10 is followed by a contrasting scenario and a stern warning.

Behold, all you who kindle a fire, who equip yourselves with burning torches! Walk by the light of your fire, and by the torches that you have kindled! This you have from my hand; you shall lie down in torment. Isaiah 50:11

Isn't that what we do? We find ourselves in a dark place, unable to see the way out. Our natural instinct is to immediately equip ourselves with a burning torch and grope our way out of the problem. This is not God's way. Instead we ought to refuse the urge to kindle a torch by grabbing onto a quick solution, and instead choose to rely on God in the dark. 

I still find myself kindling torches, and stumbling around in the dark.
I want to get better at reaching for God's big hand to guide me through instead.

The Good News About Disappointment

A dark cloud of despondency lingered over our house for a day or two this week. Most of the members of my family were feeling a little blue. To be honest, some of us were feeling more deep indigo blue than lightly sky blue. I am not completely sure if the mood was an after effect of eating too many rich and sugary foods and exercising too little, or if it came from something deeper. Probably it was a combination of things, the ways the holidays touch old hurts caused by the destruction of two families, and the ways those holidays reveal that our blending family is not yet one whole instead of pieces of two in one household. 

On blue days I am tempted to sink in a mire of self pity and "if-onlys". I reason that the presence of disappointments and longings in my soul means that I must find a solution. Fix things. I must find that one piece to the puzzle that would make my life complete. This is a lie, and I have to recognize the evil voice that whispers it in my ear.

The truth is, every human being carries disappointments and unmet longings. I think God lets this happen for a purpose. He knows that if we were able to find deep and lasting satisfaction from our possessions, our pursuits, or our relationships, we would not be driven to the only thing that ultimately matters. Our disappointments actually give us the most precious gift.

John Eldredge says it this way: "Everyone has a cross to bear. Everyone. It serves to remind us every day that we cannot make life work the way we want. We can't arrive. Not completely. Not yet. If we'll let it, the disappointment can be God's way of continually drawing us back to himself. I know that I face a choice. I can feel it down inside, and I watch it take place in my heart. I can let my disappointments define my life. Or I can let them take me back to God, to find my life in him in ways I have not yet learned. The rest remains a mystery. But this is enough to know."