Tiptoeing through Minefields Instead of Tulips

Living my life is often a lot like tiptoeing through a minefield.

There are dangers and hazards.  A word misspoken can set off an explosion that almost blows me in two.

I wish my life had followed the happily ever after story line I expected when I said "I do" at 19 years old.   I hate divorce.  It rips everyone involved in two.  It is embarrassing to be divorced, an obvious and glaring failure.  I feel like I am demoted to the rank of second class Christian the moment someone discovers that I am divorced.   I imagine I see it in people's eyes.  It is in that split second glance away that happens while they wonder what happened to my marriage, whose fault it was, and what lack of commitment or mental illness prevented me from being able to keep my husband in my bed.

My new husband is a tremendous gift from God to me.  I am so, so very thankful for him.  Being remarried does not erase divorce though.  It complicates everything instead.  Now I not only have my own scars, hypersensitive wounded areas, kids' pain, ex and his neurosis; I also have my husband's scars, his kids' pain, and his ex's neurosis to deal with.

I sometimes wonder.  Where did I get off track?  Where did I miss the road sign and turn left off the highway of God's wonderful plan for my life?
Answer:  I didn't.   Not that I haven't made mistakes, but that fact that the path of my life has minefields along it does not mean that I have been abandoned by God.

1 Corinthians 7:17 says, Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, to which God has called him.

God's assignment for me includes hardship and pain.  It does not include making me stunningly-beautiful-covergirl of Perfect Woman with the Perfect Life magazine.  This is it.  The messy life I lead is my calling.

Mother Teresa once said, "If you are discouraged, it is a sign of pride because it shows you trust in your own powers.  Never bother about people's opinions.  Be humble and you will never be disturbed.  The Lord has willed me here where I am.  He will offer a solution."

That pretty much says it.  The years of battles have wounded my pride, but that is a good thing.  I can't trust in my own powers, the challenges are too much for me.  I can't bother about people's opinions, they don't walk in my combat boots.  As I tiptoe through minefields instead of tulips, I must trust God to guide me.  He has willed me here where I am.  He will offer a solution.   What a relief!  Maybe that is a tulip I see over there beside the path after all.