During my travel down the long road of separation and divorce, facing the holidays felt like marching into battle. I hated having to share my kids with my wuzband (I like that term better than "ex"). I hated the TV commercials of happy two parent families sitting down with all of the kids for a big turkey dinner, because I hated being reminded of everything my family wasn't and never would be again. I hated the loneliness of showing up at church services and family gatherings as a one instead of a two. "Celebrating the holiday" sounded like an oxymoron to me.
Holidays are still a challenge with my new blended family. Not only do we have differing traditions and expectations to maneuver, we also have the difficulty inherent in making plans in a step family. As we try to make plans, my husband and I have to coordinate with my parents, my grown children, his parents, and both extended families. This, I suppose, is normal. But, we also have to negotiate with my wuzband, and his wuzwife, and their plans for our children. This often means that my nieces' and nephews' holiday could be altered because of their aunt's husband's wuzwife's brother-in-law's plans. Confused? Me too. That's my point.
A holiday can feel like another battle in a long war, and I don't always come out unscathed. My holidays don't always feel triumphant. That is why I was struck anew by 2 Corinthians 2:14 yesterday.
But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. 2 Corinthians 2:14
Always leads us in triumphal procession?
In ancient Rome when an emperor or general won a great victory he was awarded a triumphal procession by the senate. He would march into Rome preceded by the spoils he'd won in battle and followed by the conquered enemy warriors and then his own troops.
The idea here is that though we battle and fight an enemy, Christ has won the ultimate victory. No matter that the battle still rages. The ultimate outcome is already determined. The enemy is defeated. Christ is "triumphator". The struggle is not pointless even though it sometimes feels that way.
When I was separated from my first husband, I was given a wise piece of advice from an older woman. She said, "Your mate is not your enemy. Your mate has been taken captive by your enemy." Whenever my messy family life begins to feel like a war, it behooves me to remember who my enemy is, and isn't. And, to remember that Christ is leading me in triumphal procession, celebrating the victory over the real enemy.
Our suffering, even suffering highlighted by holidays, is not in vain. No matter how messy the battle feels at the moment, we have a place in the victory parade.
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