I have a confession to make.
I get discouraged. Frequently. I think there are a couple of reasons for this discouragement.
1. My life is perpetually in a building or rebuilding mode. Here's the rub. What I am trying to build and what God is trying to build are often not the same thing. If I am assisting God to build, I can't fail. If on the other hand I am off on the side building my own little sandcastle, that is another matter.
2. I have a real enemy who really wants disrupt the building God is doing. He is quite good at disrupting.
This is all too much to discuss in one blog, so I will talk about the thoughts I have been pondering over the next couple of posts.
What I am trying to build: (Just for starters, this list could stretch on for pages, for miles, for a long, long time...)- Relationships that are happy and peaceful and intimate. -A family full of individuals who know and love God -A life of financial, physical, relational plenty - A ministry to people who need encouragement...
Here is the catch. Though those are good things to want, they are not the things God wants the most. He wants to form me (and you) into people who desire Him more than anything else. He wants us to know Him, love Him, and enjoy Him even more than he wants us to enjoy having strong families and happy, unselfish, healthy kids, and all that other good stuff.
Sometimes God's work includes my happiness, peace, and fulfillment. I like those times a lot. Other times His work includes allowing a big wave to wash away everything I have been striving to build. I don't like those times at all.
When my first husband shattered my world, I railed at God. God believes in strong Christian marriages doesn't he? He is strong enough to keep my family together, isn't He? How, then, could He just stand by and watch, as my marriage and family was reduced to rubble? As I panicked and prayed, wrestled and worked to save my marriage, I learned something very important. While God is pleased by strong relationships and healthy families, He sometimes uses even weak relationships and dysfunction to accomplish his greater purposes. He sometimes takes things Satan meant for evil and uses them for good.
I am very near sighted. Like a small child (or honesty here... a grown woman) who wants ice cream instead of vegetables, I want things that make me feel good now, instead of things that are wildly better long term. I often get distracted, and especially during shattering, painful seasons of life, I forget that I want to desire, know, love, and enjoy God more than anything.
The good news is God has planted his spirit in me and at my core my deepest desire is the same as his.
Philippians 1:6 (ESV) I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
No comments:
Post a Comment