Futility

fu-tile/ˈfyutl, ˈfyutaɪl/ Show Spelled[fyoot-l, fyoo-tahyl] 

–adjective

1. incapable of producing any result; ineffective; useless; not successful (definition from dictionary.com)

 

 

Futility was one of the evils that rushed into human lives as soon as man sinned in the Garden of Eden. Every human feels ineffective, useless or not successful sometimes. Work feels futile. Trying to restore a relationship feels futile. Parenting rebellious kids feels futile. 

 

Sometimes I think the role of stepmother is a synonym for futile.

 

Step-moth-er  

-noun 

1. a person who is ineffective, useless, not successful

 

As a stepmother I care deeply about my stepkids. I want to be able to nurture them. They are fiercely loyal to their mother, though. In some ways this is good. But, many of my efforts to draw close to them are rejected. Out of loyalty to her, they have erected defensive walls between themselves and me. It is hard to give a tender hug through a thick cement wall. 

 

So, my role is to cook/ clean/ drive/ entertain/ dispense money on demand/ and stay out of their way. They don't believe that correcting them or telling them what to do, is part of the stepmom job description. 

 

From their limited perspective, I came to this party uninvited.

  

The Bible tells the story of another woman who came to a party uninvited. She was a prostitute. She took a valuable vial of perfume and poured it over Jesus' head. The rest of the guests, especially Jesus' closest associates were horrified. "What a waste!" They scolded. But Jesus silenced them. "She has done a beautiful thing." He went on to explain, "She did what she could when she could..."  (Mark 14:3-9 The Message)

Referring to this passage, Joy Sawyer, in her book The Art of the Soul says, "...the real question is not what we're doing, but the art of how we're doing it. Do we do 'what we can, when we can'? In other words, are we pouring out the most costly essence of our souls on the person of Christ? If so, he will live in and through our lives. We share the joy of knowing the story of our 'wasted lives' will definitely not be wasted."

 

The enemy of our souls would love to convince us that the hours we spend loving Christ by pouring ourselves out are wasted. The enemy wants us to stamp "futility" in big red letters all over our efforts, give up, and walk away. But that would be a mistake. Jesus sees the ways we pour ourselves out. He thinks they are tremendously valuable.

 

^"With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort." (I Corinthians 15:58 The Message)