Predictable Tactics
The enemy uses predictable tactics against most people who have been wounded by the unfaithfulness of a husband or wife.
If-Onlys
Unwelcome thoughts scream for attention inside a betrayed spouse's head. She wonders what she could have done to prevent her partner's infidelity. The "if onlys" camp on her front lawn and ring her doorbell constantly. "If only I was younger and prettier... if only I was a more interesting person...if only I weighed 10 pounds less...if only I was stronger..." These if-onlys are lies, a scheme of the evil one.
Last week I wrote that I had to learn to see my own sinfulness from God's perspective. I was not talking about opening the door to these insidious if-onlys. Saying that I had to admit to being a sinner in need of grace, may sound like I blame myself for the adultery that eventually ended our marriage. That is not my intention.
A Second Favorite Tactic
A second favorite tactic of the evil one is to entice a person to see herself as a victim. Without intervention, victims become entrenched in their own helplessness, imprisoned by bitterness at the person who wounded them. Being willing to see herself as a co-recipient of God's grace, is a necessary step toward freedom from the chains of bitterness.
For me, seeing my own sinfulness, even though I have always excelled at being a good girl, was an important step toward freedom.
Admitting that I am a sinful person did not relieve my ex-husband of responsibility. It did not mean that his choices were my fault. Instead, confessing my own need for forgiveness freed me from one of the traps set for me.
Showing posts with label healing of hurts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healing of hurts. Show all posts
Monday, October 18, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tales of the Restoration Part 1: Broken Walls and Burned Gates
God speaks to me in many ways. Frequently he directs my way with stories. For almost a year now God has been teaching me about my own life through the fascinating story of Nehemiah.
The events in Nehemiah fall into a season of Jewish history that my study bible labels, "The People of God in Restoration". Isn't it a hopeful title for an epoch in history, or for a season in life? For some time now, my family has been in a season that could bear the same title.
Restoration implies that there has been some sort of destruction. It may be sudden and traumatic, like the unexpected death of a loved one or a grievous breach of trust. Sometimes destruction happens through gradual erosion, as in the destruction wreaked by alcoholism. Years ago evil breached the walls of my life. By breaking my first marriage, it destroyed my home, scattered and wounded its inhabitants, tore down its walls, and set fire to its gates. The stories of brokenness I hear in other people's lives can be eerily similar. The youngest and the weakest members of the family are often the most wounded.
Imagine the book of Nehemiah being like a dramatic play. The central character is a man named Nehemiah, a middle aged Jewish man who holds a prestigious position in Babylon. His job comes with a lot of fringe benefits. Nehemiah protects the king from poisoning. In return, he wears luxurious clothes, consumes the best food and wine, and lives in the palace.
The curtain opens. Nehemiah and his Jewish brother, who recently arrived from Judah, are sitting in an isolated corner of the palace, catching up. Nehemiah expects a glowing report from Hanani. 70 years after the destruction of Babylon people were finally allowed to return to their homeland to begin rebuilding a society.
Nehemiah innocently asks his companion how things are back home. The answer is like a punch in the gut. The reconstruction that began with such promise is in danger of collapsing back into the rubble from which it came.
"The survivors there...are in great trouble and shame; the wall ...is broken down and its gates have been destroyed by fire." Nehemiah 1:3
Nehemiah reels as if he has been punched. He sits down heavily and begins to weep. Time passes. Scene 2 opens on Nehemiah days later, eyes red and swollen, clothes hanging loosely on his thin frame. He has been mourning, weeping, refusing food, and praying all this time.
I wonder if did Nehemiah regretted asking that polite, "how are things back home?" question. If he did regret it, he didn't think it was worth mentioning. He moved in the space of a comma straight to a higher throne room, fasting and praying before the king of heaven.
All restoration begins in that throne room. He is the only one with the resources necessary for any restoration project.
The events in Nehemiah fall into a season of Jewish history that my study bible labels, "The People of God in Restoration". Isn't it a hopeful title for an epoch in history, or for a season in life? For some time now, my family has been in a season that could bear the same title.
Restoration implies that there has been some sort of destruction. It may be sudden and traumatic, like the unexpected death of a loved one or a grievous breach of trust. Sometimes destruction happens through gradual erosion, as in the destruction wreaked by alcoholism. Years ago evil breached the walls of my life. By breaking my first marriage, it destroyed my home, scattered and wounded its inhabitants, tore down its walls, and set fire to its gates. The stories of brokenness I hear in other people's lives can be eerily similar. The youngest and the weakest members of the family are often the most wounded.
Imagine the book of Nehemiah being like a dramatic play. The central character is a man named Nehemiah, a middle aged Jewish man who holds a prestigious position in Babylon. His job comes with a lot of fringe benefits. Nehemiah protects the king from poisoning. In return, he wears luxurious clothes, consumes the best food and wine, and lives in the palace.
The curtain opens. Nehemiah and his Jewish brother, who recently arrived from Judah, are sitting in an isolated corner of the palace, catching up. Nehemiah expects a glowing report from Hanani. 70 years after the destruction of Babylon people were finally allowed to return to their homeland to begin rebuilding a society.
Nehemiah innocently asks his companion how things are back home. The answer is like a punch in the gut. The reconstruction that began with such promise is in danger of collapsing back into the rubble from which it came.
"The survivors there...are in great trouble and shame; the wall ...is broken down and its gates have been destroyed by fire." Nehemiah 1:3
Nehemiah reels as if he has been punched. He sits down heavily and begins to weep. Time passes. Scene 2 opens on Nehemiah days later, eyes red and swollen, clothes hanging loosely on his thin frame. He has been mourning, weeping, refusing food, and praying all this time.
I wonder if did Nehemiah regretted asking that polite, "how are things back home?" question. If he did regret it, he didn't think it was worth mentioning. He moved in the space of a comma straight to a higher throne room, fasting and praying before the king of heaven.
All restoration begins in that throne room. He is the only one with the resources necessary for any restoration project.
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