Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tales of the Restoration: The Gift of Tears (part II) or Go Ahead, Cry If You Want To!
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. ~John Vance Cheney
For the past year, I have been learning a lot about a time of restoration from the Biblical story of Nehemiah. Today I am thinking about the role of crying, and mourning in the process of restoration.
The first thing Nehemiah did when he heard about the shameful state of his homeland was burst into tears. I don't mean he got a little misty for a moment. He "wept and mourned for days". Nehemiah was an important government official and male, but he apparently felt no shame over the depth of his emotion.
As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven. Nehemiah 1:4
I decided to do a little research into tears. It turns out that the standard advice, "don't cry", may be very bad advice.
Animals don't shed tears. So why did God create tears in humans?
Dr. William Frey, a "tear expert", found that emotional tears contain a mood-elevating and pain reducing endorphin, a stress hormone, protein carrying the molecular code for emotions throughout the body, and a mineral involved with our moods. In contrast, irritant tears, (like those produced when dicing onions) were 98 percent water. Apparently, when we "cry it out", we are physically shedding the stress and emotion. Maybe that is one reason the crying makes us feel better. (information from http://smdailyjournal.com/article_preview.php?id=53397&eddate=01/12/2006)
Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. ~Charles Dickens, Great Expectations, 1860
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tales of the Restoration Part II: Eavesdropping in the Throneroom
When things are really bad, sometimes it helps to follow another person's lead.
Nehemiah was blindsided by a crisis. The situation seemed hopeless. Nehemiah was far away and isolated*. When the crisis hit, Nehemiah reacted with intense grief. Then he turned to fasting and prayer. Nehemiah's prayer is written out for us in Nehemiah 1: 5-11. It is a great model to use in times of crisis.
If I had been in Nehemiah's place, I would probably have gone straight to telling God what to do. I would tell him how to fix my problem, and demand that he take care of things immediately. Nehemiah didn't do that. His prayer doesn't even mention the problem for quite a while. I picture the harried cupbearer taking a very deep breath, and slowing himself down.
The first thing Nehemiah says is, "O Lord God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments..." Wait a minute. God already knew all that. Why did Nehemiah have to use the long title?
It reminds me of the old stories where commoners must bow their foreheads to the ground and recite a very long list of the king's flowery titles before being allowed to ask the king for justice. But why? The king's title isn't repeated because the king can't remember his own job description. The title is used because it is good and right that the commoner respectfully acknowledge who he is addressing before he dashes right in. Maybe that is exactly what is happening here. I don't think God needed to be reminded that he was a great and awesome God. I think Nehemiah needed to remember that God was bigger than his present crisis, even though it was a big crisis.
After addressing God as a great and awesome God, Nehemiah identifies God as the one who keeps his promises, especially one promise. God promised to love his people steadfastly, loyally, stubbornly. I think Nehemiah needed to remember that God was not indifferent in the face of the crisis. God could be trusted to act in love.
Finally, Nehemiah asked God to listen. God wasn't distracted. He wasn't waiting for someone to catch his attention. These words were also for Nehemiah's benefit. He needed to know that God was listening.
It is a good starting point isn't it? When we are confronted with a crisis, we'd best run straight to the throne room. After all, the king is our dad. We can run crying to him, but it is a good thing to take a deep breath and remember 3 things.
Number 1: God is big. He is really, really big. He is more than powerful enough to handle your present crisis. No matter what it is, even if it is a devastating, suck-all-the-air-out-of-your-lungs, this-is-the-end kind of crisis, God is bigger than it is.
Number 2: God's steadfast love has never left you. No matter how bad it is, God will always love you, even if no one else does.
Number 3: The God who holds together heaven and earth is paying close attention to you. He knows your words. He even knows your heart and your heartache. He is watching over you; you have His attention. Spill it all out to him. God is listening. Really!
*For more background see the blog post from September 16, Tales of the Restoration Part 1.
Nehemiah was blindsided by a crisis. The situation seemed hopeless. Nehemiah was far away and isolated*. When the crisis hit, Nehemiah reacted with intense grief. Then he turned to fasting and prayer. Nehemiah's prayer is written out for us in Nehemiah 1: 5-11. It is a great model to use in times of crisis.
If I had been in Nehemiah's place, I would probably have gone straight to telling God what to do. I would tell him how to fix my problem, and demand that he take care of things immediately. Nehemiah didn't do that. His prayer doesn't even mention the problem for quite a while. I picture the harried cupbearer taking a very deep breath, and slowing himself down.
The first thing Nehemiah says is, "O Lord God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments..." Wait a minute. God already knew all that. Why did Nehemiah have to use the long title?
It reminds me of the old stories where commoners must bow their foreheads to the ground and recite a very long list of the king's flowery titles before being allowed to ask the king for justice. But why? The king's title isn't repeated because the king can't remember his own job description. The title is used because it is good and right that the commoner respectfully acknowledge who he is addressing before he dashes right in. Maybe that is exactly what is happening here. I don't think God needed to be reminded that he was a great and awesome God. I think Nehemiah needed to remember that God was bigger than his present crisis, even though it was a big crisis.
After addressing God as a great and awesome God, Nehemiah identifies God as the one who keeps his promises, especially one promise. God promised to love his people steadfastly, loyally, stubbornly. I think Nehemiah needed to remember that God was not indifferent in the face of the crisis. God could be trusted to act in love.
Finally, Nehemiah asked God to listen. God wasn't distracted. He wasn't waiting for someone to catch his attention. These words were also for Nehemiah's benefit. He needed to know that God was listening.
It is a good starting point isn't it? When we are confronted with a crisis, we'd best run straight to the throne room. After all, the king is our dad. We can run crying to him, but it is a good thing to take a deep breath and remember 3 things.
Number 1: God is big. He is really, really big. He is more than powerful enough to handle your present crisis. No matter what it is, even if it is a devastating, suck-all-the-air-out-of-your-lungs, this-is-the-end kind of crisis, God is bigger than it is.
Number 2: God's steadfast love has never left you. No matter how bad it is, God will always love you, even if no one else does.
Number 3: The God who holds together heaven and earth is paying close attention to you. He knows your words. He even knows your heart and your heartache. He is watching over you; you have His attention. Spill it all out to him. God is listening. Really!
*For more background see the blog post from September 16, Tales of the Restoration Part 1.
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