0 Kilobytes Available

My computer is functional, and dependable, and it has some nice features.  It also has a relatively small storage capacity, which I completely maxed out with vacation photos.   Now it is neither functional not dependable because its capacity is completely full.

I am a lot like my computer.

I do not feel either functional or dependable today.  Partly because of my computer issue, and partly because I am handling other minor stresses badly, my free capacity as been reduced to 0.  Like my computer there is an error message blinking.  It is informing me that I do not have the storage capacity necessary to run the current applications, and that I have 0 available kilobytes.  By the way, what are kilobytes?   Have you ever seen kilobytes running around the floor squeaking "Hey!  I'm here and I'm available!"?

My day is filled with tasks that seem irritatingly trivial and unimportant.  "You ought to be able to handle these little things!" I lecture myself, adding a layer of guilt to the top.  "In the past you have handled much bigger things with ease!"

Today, after my totally unproductive work day, my family needs me to do and especially to be various things for them.  My step kids need me to pick them up from school this afternoon.  They need me to be warm and friendly and helpful, They need me to tolerate noise and chaos and react well if they are mean or angry.  My husband needs me to be more relaxed, and cheerful, than I was last night.  They all need me to fix dinner.  Where am I going to find the capacity to be a good wife and stepmother and mother tonight?

I made a list of the things that are pushing me over the edge today.  I did what I could to resolve issues. The computer is now backed up and some photos are stored elsewhere.  I ate coffee ice cream with chocolate syrup, whipped cream and peanuts.  "That really should help!", I think to myself, doggedly ignoring the voice of reason in my head.

The thing is, even after eating ice cream, I don't really feel better. "I told you so!"  The reasonable voice rolls its little eyes at my stupidity.

Then I know.  I have not done the fundamental thing.  I must download and delete.  "Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you."   I need to plug in. and stay plugged in to Someone with unlimited capacity.   His life will flow through me.  He can carry my entire load with ease.  Everything.  Every single thing.